


Be The Star In My Sky

by seungbincore



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Kind of slowburn?, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Summer break, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, eboy jisung, lots of mentions of the stars, set in chicago, seungsung are childhood friends, side hyunho if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:55:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26721001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungbincore/pseuds/seungbincore
Summary: Seungmin turns his gaze back to the sun. The sky looks like cotton candy now. “People change. Much like the seasons.”“Any particular reason why?”Seungmin spares a quick glance at Jisung out of the corner of his eyes. The heart-shaped boy is admiring the sunrise, his blue hair blown off his face, exposing his beautiful, honey eyes.“Maybe one.” He murmurs.“Do I get to know?”“Not yet.”Seungmin has never been the bravest soul, anyone can attest to that. He also sucks at expressing his feelings for the boy he’s been in love with since they were 15.Summer break begins, and Seungmin learns something about himself, and maybe he’s finally able to brave the hurricane that is Jisung Han.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 171





	Be The Star In My Sky

**Author's Note:**

> and here i am with 16k words of seungmin being a pining fool, but what's new lmao
> 
> i listened to the songs 'Somewhere only we know' by keane (which makes an appearance later on in the fic) and 'Exist for love' by aurora a lot writing this, and the lyrics really fit this seungsung.
> 
> i hope you enjoy! like a lot! 
> 
> also thank you to my best friend to kind of beta'ing it for me i appreciate you lots <3

Seungmin has known Jisung since they were seven. He knew him from school, he knew him from their shared classes, but he had never talked to him until Jisung fell off his skateboard in front of Seungmin’s house. Sometimes he wonders if that was the day he first fell in love, when Jisung’s big doe eyes looked into his own, sparkling happily as Seungmin’s childhood dog licked his wet cheek.

He didn’t know what love was for a long time, at least, he doesn’t think so. He just knows that Jisung always made him feel safe. Made him feel seen. Their friends call them the most likely unlikely pair, their personalities clashing more than anyone. Whereas Seungmin is soft spoken, fluffy brown hair, rimmed glasses and cardigans, like a warm hug on a rainy day, Jisung is loud and boisterous, a different hair color for each day of the week, ripped jeans and spiked boots. Jisung is a hurricane and Seungmin is trapped in the eye, only ever seeing the chaos from the safety that Jisung holds him in. 

Only ever sees the peaceful side of the storm. 

“School ends next week,” Jisung says. “What should we do?”

Seungmin hums. He hadn’t really thought that far, if he’s honest. Usually, he’ll plan their summer activities months in advance, but these days, he’s left his planner almost entirely untouched. Jisung has always had a way of leading him off schedule, so he gave up on trying to organize his weeks. 

He shrugs, picking at the piece of paper in his hand, tearing off bits and letting them flutter to his chest. Jisung strums his guitar. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll just see how things go.”

Jisung is quiet for a while, simply playing an aimless tune on his instrument. Seungmin looks over at him where he sits on his dorm bed, the afternoon light coming through the window, highlighting his features and turning his skin golden. 

Jisung’s eyes lift to meet Seungmin’s, two pools of honey, deep and inviting. Dark lashes flutter against his cheekbones. His blue hair glows like a halo in the sunlight. “Want to go on a road trip?” 

“Where to?”

Jisung smiles. He strums. He taps the wood of his guitar. “Wherever the wind takes us.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Seungmin may not use his daily planner anymore, but that doesn't mean he stopped making lists. His suitcase sits open in front of him, everything organized neatly. His clothes are folded, his toiletries are laid on top of the sheets where he can see them. He scans over the items, checking them once, twice, three times. Finally, he checks off the last few boxes on his list and smiles.

“Don’t forget your camera.” Jisung speaks up from his side of the room. He’s sitting on top of his suitcase, trying to force the zipper closed. A sleeve hangs out on one side. 

Seungmin rolls his eyes and walks over to his friend, shooing him off the suitcase. “Three years of this, and you still suck at packing.” He mutters and kneels, flipping open the suitcase and taking out Jisung’s clothes, which had been haphazardly thrown in. 

“Can I put your toiletries in your bag?” Jisung asks, unfazed by Seungmin’s comment. He knows it doesn’t actually mean harm.

“No. You’ll lose something somehow.” Seungmin glances back at him. Jisung throws him a grin before sitting on the floor, toying with his laces. Seungmin just smiles and turns back to the suitcase in front of him. He folds Jisung’s clothes, carefully organizing them by shirts, pants and underwear.

Jisung hums to himself as Seungmin packs everything else. He looks a little lost, unsure of how to help. 

Seungmin finishes, finally, and sets everything by the door. Jisung stands beside him, guitar bag pulled over one shoulder. They stare at the empty room, but feel no remorse about leaving it. Seungmin had been saving up for an apartment for them to share for some years now. Come next school year, they’ll no longer be living in the dorms.

“Well,” Jisung breaks the silence. He bounces on the balls of his feet. The keychains and buttons on his bag jingle. “On to better things?”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Hi, Mrs. Kim!” Jisung yells through the house as he and Seungmin enter. The bus ride from the university to Seungmin’s childhood home wasn’t _long,_ but the pair were more than happy to be off of it.

“Oh, Jisung!” Seungmin’s mother calls from the living room. “Is that you?” She huffs, rounding the corner. Her hair is pulled back, strands falling around her face. She’s wearing her apron, fresh paint stains littering the white cotton. Seungmin smiles.

“The one and only.” Jisung grins, waving.

“It’s so nice to see you, sweetheart.” She coos and shuffles over to the boys, pinching their cheeks. Seungmin groans, gently swatting his mother’s hand away. Jisung scrunches his nose happily, even leaning into the woman’s touch. 

He’s always loved her doting, ever since they first met. Jisung had cried so much that day, especially when Mrs. Kim doused his bloody chin in peroxide to clean it, quick to comfort the boy when he screamed in pain. The tears had lessened when Seungmin’s puppy licked his cheek, slowed more when his mom fed him cookies, and they stopped completely when his dad had come to pick him up. 

The next day, Jisung sat at Seungmin’s lunch table, with his two missing teeth, a bandage on his chin, and fresh scrapes on his knees. His eyes sparkled so much when he stuck his hand out for Seungmin to take as he introduced himself. 

Jisung has always been compared to a hurricane by those around him, but Seungmin always compared him to the stars, always shining, always changing. Sometimes he wonders if Jisung really is a star, some beautiful, celestial being sent down from the skies to wander among the mortals. He feels like it's the only explanation as to how Jisung Han is Jisung Han.

“Nice to see you too, Mrs. Kim.” Jisung responds. “Working on something new?”

“Somewhat new.” Mrs. Kim nods, gesturing towards the living room. “But I’ll show you later. You two head on up to the room now, go on.”

“So eager to get rid of us, mom.” Seungmin teases. “I just got home, and you’re already shooing me away!”

“Go!” His mother exclaims, but she’s smiling.

Jisung giggles as the pair take the stairs two at a time. When they reach Seungmin’s room, they discard their bags by the door and flop on the bed side by side. Seungmin’s suspended paper mache solar system sways back and forth in the displaced air of their arrival.

“Two whole months of summer vacation.” Jisung murmurs.

“We’re still going on that road trip?” Seungmin asks.

“You up for it?”

“As long as you’re going with me.”

The covers shift. Seungmin looks at Jisung to find his friend already looking. They don’t speak for a long while, eyes locked, unblinking. Seungmin can see the galaxies hidden behind there, waiting to be explored. 

Finally, Jisung sits up and grabs Seungmin’s hand, tugging him to his feet. “Let’s go to a party tonight.” He suggests, leading Seungmin over to the vanity and sitting him down on it. “I hear Minho Lee is throwing a rager tonight.” He has a sing-songy tone to his voice, as if teasing Seungmin. And sure, it might’ve affected him last year, but his crush on Minho had been short-lived, especially when it was announced that he was officially dating Sam Hyunjin Hwang. 

Especially when he realized his long-term feelings for Jisung had not gone away like he had convinced himself of.

“Okay,” Seungmin shrugs, watching Jisung comb his brown hair in the mirror. “But we should bring Changbin. He’ll never let us hear the end of it if we go to a party without him.”

“Tch. Crybaby.” Jisung snorts. He sets the comb down and throws his arms over Seungmin’s shoulders, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “Glitter or sequins?”

“Aren’t those the same thing?”

“Potato, potatoe.” Jisung scoffs, waving his hands dismissively. He plays with Seungmin’s hair, inspecting it closely, before smiling. “Glitter.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Seungmin wasn’t fond of glitter, but he’ll tolerate it for Jisung. However, he was very fond of alcohol. 

He rubs at the glittery highlighter on his cheek, filling a red solo cup with punch. It smells fruity, like strawberries, but there’s a hint of alcohol drifting off of it. He smiles and picks up the drink, whipping around to face the party. Neon lights flash here and there, sometimes hitting Seungmin’s eyes, but he just blinks it away and takes a sip of his punch. 

Jisung is playing beer pong with some people Seungmin recognized from the basketball team. He thought it was unfair, since most of them had deadly accuracy, but Jisung was just as good. His hand to eye coordination was not something to underestimate. Seungmin smiles as Jisung makes another shot and screams, hands thrown up in the air. The boys around him are screaming too, just barely heard over the deafening bass echoing from speakers somewhere in the house.

“Seungminnn!” A voice sings. He looks to his side, eyes landing on his other best friend. Changbin giggles, hiccups, and stumbles forward into Seungmin’s arms. He’s definitely drunk. “I just kissed a boy.”

“Oh yeah? Who?” He asks, scanning the crowd behind Changbin. He locks eyes with a dimpled kid he only vaguely recognizes, hair tousled and lips tugged into a smirk. 

“Jeongin Yang!” Changbin yells. “He has soft cheeks. Like bread.” He mumbles and then reaches up to rub Seungmin’s cheek. His fingers come away glittery and he gasps. “Seungmin, are you made of stardust?!”

Seungmin laughs, patting his friend’s head and guiding him to an armchair in the living room. “No, it’s just makeup.”

“Lies.” Changbin grumbles, pouting. He curls up in the chair, eyes fluttering closed, and Seungmin sighs. He sits next to his friend, not feeling comfortable about leaving him alone.

He watches the party, watches people dance in the halls, watches people yell over the sounds of the music. He catches sight of Hyunjin and Minho dancing together on a table in the other room, people cheering around them. He rolls his eyes and pulls out his phone, nursing his drink as he scrolls through his instagram feed. He misses Jisung, but he can do without him for a little while.

“Seungminnieee…” Changbin slurs and leans over the armrest to pet Seungmin’s head. “Soft hair.”

“You’re so funny when you’re drunk.” Seungmin laughs, looking up at his friend. “How are you feeling?”

“Fuzzy,” Changbin giggles, eyes scrunched up and teeth on full display. “ _You_ should kiss someone.”

To amuse his friend, Seungmin just tilts his head. “Yeah, and who should that be?”

Changbin’s eyes flit around the room. He smiles, looks down at Seungmin, eyebrows raised into his bangs. “What about Jisungie? Mr. Peter Han? I hear he’s a _goood_ kisser.”

Seungmin’s face gets hot and he averts his eyes. Quickly, he swallows the sudden lump in his throat. “Jisung wouldn’t want to kiss me.”

Changbin hums, but doesn’t answer. Seungmin glances at him, finding his friend to already be asleep. He exhales in relief. He couldn’t deal with any more embarrassment. 

Jisung’s platform boots come into Seungmin’s peripheral after a while. Seungmin looks up, an eyebrow raised, as Jisung kneels in front of him, his skirt riding up his thighs. Seungmin tries not to stare. 

“Hey,” his friend says, quiet enough that no one else can hear him, but loud enough for Seungmin to catch it over the party. 

“Hey.” Seungmin smiles. Jisung smells like vanilla.

“Minho’s playing spin-the-bottle. Wanna join?” 

“Hell no.” Seungmin wrinkles his nose.

Jisung laughs and grabs Seungmin’s hand, pulling him to his feet. “Get him,” He gestures to Changbin. “Let’s get out of here. I’m bored.”

“Where are we going?” Seungmin asks, shaking Changbin awake. His friend whines, but stands when Seungmin tugs on his hands. Jisung slides against Changbin’s side, helping Seungmin to support his weight.

“Well, first we’re going to drop off this guy,” He gestures to the boy in between them. “And then we’ll see where the night takes us.”  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  


“Have you ever gone skinny dipping?” Jisung asks. He’s hanging upside down on the monkey bars, his boxers and thighs on display. No one’s around though, the playground is long abandoned for the night.

Seungmin, from where he lays under Jisung on the mulch, wrinkles his nose in disgust. “And let fish bite my dick?” 

“That’s why you go in a pool, silly!” Jisung giggles. His face is turning red. Seungmin watches him lift himself up with ease, leg muscles built up from years of skateboarding flexing. He drops next to Seungmin and lays down, eyes turned to the stars. “Where should we go on our roadtrip?”

“California,” Seungmin murmurs. “I wanna see hollywood.”  
  


“Colorado.” Jisung adds. “I looked at a map a while ago.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, we can travel the U.S. highway 50 all the way down to the Missouri state line and just pass straight through to California.” Jisung drags his finger through the air as if drawing a line. “Unless we want to like, visit the grand canyon or something. Or we could visit Little Rock, Arkansas! Did you know they have a cat news anchor?”

“No way,” Seungmin laughs. 

“Yeah!” Jisung exclaims. His hands are waving excitedly in the air. Seungmin remembers how he used to do that when telling stories when they were kids. “He just showed up as a feral kitten one day. They call him, ‘Joey the news-cat-ster. Clever, right?”

“Cat people are so weird.” Seungmin rolls his eyes, gently flicking Jisung’s nose. 

Jisung sticks his tongue out at Seungmin and hops to his feet, holding his hands out for Seungmin to take. “Come on. Let’s go on the merry-go-round.”

“You’re just trying to make me barf.” Seungmin groans, taking Jisung’s hands and pulling himself up. He follows his friend to the playground equipment, climbing aboard.

“I won’t go fast.” Jisung promises, and then pushes against the warm metal bar. As soon as the merry-go-round is moving, he hopes on next to Seungmin, caging him towards the center. 

“Hi,” Seungmin says. The playground flies past behind Jisung’s head.

“Hi,” Jisung smiles. 

Even in the dark of night, fluorescent street lamps shining on them, Jisung’s eyes are still beautiful. They're no longer two pools of honey, instead pools of melted chocolate, or maybe they're the dark expanse of space, where Jisung was sent from. The glitter on Jisung’s cheeks shine in the light, reflecting like stardust. Maybe he really is an ephemeral being. 

Seungmin smiles.

“About that skinny dipping question,” Jisung inquires, leaning back against one of the metal bars and releasing Seungmin from his prison, not that he was complaining.

“Are you just trying to get me out of my clothes, Peter Han?” Seungmin clicks his tongue, waving a scolding finger at Jisung. Seungmin has found that he is the only one allowed to call Jisung by his english name without repercussions, and something about it warms his heart.

Jisung giggles. His bangs brush gently against his forehead. Blue locks glint in the harsh light and turn black as they submerge in darkness. “I wouldn’t be wearing any clothes either.” He says. He smirks. “We’d be on even ground, _Sky Kim_.”

Seungmin gulps. His ears burn. He averts his gaze, watching the swing set as it slowly passes his vision. “You got me there.”

Jisung’s eyes are burning holes in the side of his head. He pointedly stares at literally anything else, even if he’s starting to get dizzy. The trace amounts of alcohol in his system didn’t help with that. 

“Let’s go get snacks.” Jisung finally says, hopping off the merry-go-round and leaving Seungmin to find his footing on his own.

  
  
  
  


The harsh fluorescents of the gas station lights reflect off of Jisung’s belt chains, making them shine. Seungmin trails after him, listening to the soft music playing, Jisung’s boots against the sticky tile floor, and the muted video game sounds coming from the cashier’s phone. Jisung picks out two bags of chips - making sure to get their favorites - a couple of sodas, and two bottles of champagne.

“What’s the alcohol for?” Seungmin asks, eyeing the bottles in Jisung’s hands. He’s not complaining, but he is curious. “Did you drink at the party?”

“Nope.” Jisung shakes his head. “I needed to be sober to drive.” He pouts. Seungmin wants to kiss it away. “But I’m not driving now, so,” He cuts off his own sentence, the blanks filling themselves in as he holds up the champagne, eyes glittering with a smile. 

Seungmin laughs, following him to the counter. The cashier looks Jisung up and down, taking in his appearance. Seungmin feels his chest tighten. 

The cashier is a boy their age, his nametag reading, _“Donghyuck”._ Seungmin thinks he’s seen him around school before. Donghyuck just looks bored as he scans the items the boys piled in front of him and holds his hand out for a card. “How old are you?” He drones as Seungmin sets his card and ID in his hand. 

“23,” Seungmin tells him. Jisung snorts and leans his elbows on the counter, propping his chin up and batting his eyelashes. Donghyuck stares a second too long. Seungmin rolls his eyes.

Donghyuck smacks his gum, swipes the card, taps a button, and then pushes the bags towards the boys. “Have a good night.” He grunts. 

Jisung waves, smile wide. “Bye bye!” He sings as Seungmin ushers him outside, giggling loudly.

“You’re unbelievable.” Seungmin cackles. 

“And amazing!” Jisung spins in front of Seungmin, arms outstretched. 

_Yeah,_ Seungmin thinks. _Amazing._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“To summer break, Seungminnie,” Jisung cheers, popping the cork of the bottle. They watch it fly into the pond, watch it slowly bob and float away as the breeze carries it. “And to us.”

“To us,” Seungmin agrees. 

Jisung takes a giant swig of the champagne bottle. He hisses and hands the bottle to Seungmin. “Cheap gas station champagne cannot be beat.” He sighs and plops back on the grass.

“I think it can,” Seungmin sits next to him. “But this is good enough for us.”

“I’m gonna buy a Volkswagen van.” Jisung announces, taking the bottle back from Seungmin. “For our roadtrip. I’ve saved enough from work for it and gas money.” 

“Sounds nice, Ji.” Seungmin murmurs. He watches his friend take a sip of the champagne and wipe his mouth with his hand. The moon looks pretty on him.

Jisung has always had big dreams about seeing the world. Ever since they were kids. When they learned the 50 states, Jisung was always so excited. When they learned geography, Jisung couldn’t stop bouncing in his seat. He’s wanted to see and do it all. Such big dreams for such a small boy. Seungmin thought it was endearing.

_“We’re gonna see it together, Minnie.”_ Jisung would say when they sat on the roof of his house, the stars twinkling above them.

_“See what?”_ Seungmin would ask.

_“Everything.”_

The wind blows gently, dragging across their skin like silk. Seungmin sighs and lays back on the hill, staring up at the stars. Whereas Jisung wanted to see the world, Seungmin wanted to see the stars, to see where Jisung came from. 

Someday, they’ll do it together.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Unfortunately, the roadtrip does not happen as planned, but that doesn’t deter their summer plans.

Jisung likes to drag Seungmin out to his roof every morning for sunrise, but Seungmin doesn't complain. It’s something he has always done any time they have the chance, which lately, has been everyday. 

The first time it happened, they were twelve, months after Jisung’s mother passed. Jisung called him on the walkie talkies he got the previous Christmas one evening as the sun was setting, his voice rough with tears, and asked Seungmin to come over. Seungmin did, because at that point, he was already positive he would do anything for Jisung. 

The sun had long disappeared past the horizon when Jisung finally spoke up, pressed against Seungmin’s side as snow fell around them. Even in the cold, Jisung was warm, keeping Seungmin’s body thawed. 

“I miss her.” Jisung had whispered. He sounded so broken. “I miss her more than anything.” 

Seungmin nodded. “I know. I do too.”

“Dad won’t eat.” Jisung sobbed. “He won’t talk. It’s like he’s not there anymore.”

They didn’t go to bed that night until dawn was breaking. Seungmin spent the entire week at Jisung’s house, keeping him grounded and helping him care for his dad. His mom had helped some too, but she was still working a 9 to 5 then. 

Now, years later, the summer morning is still cool, the sun having yet to warm up the world. Jisung crouches on the edge of the roof, hair and shirt ruffled in the strong breeze (Seungmin belatedly realizes it's not Jisung’s shirt, but rather one of his own). If Seungmin stares long enough, he swears he can see wings on his friend’s back. 

As if Jisung knew what Seungmin was thinking, he turns, smiles, and says, “Imagine how cool it would be to fly.”

The sun is barely rising now, silhouetting Jisung against the sky.

“Pretty cool.” Seungmin murmurs. He almost thinks it's lost on the wind but Jisung giggles and bounds over to him, plopping onto the quilt next to him. 

“What should we do today?” Jisung asks.

Seungmin hums, leaning back on his hands. They have all the time in the world, so he figures they’ll just play it by hour. With a shrug, he watches the sun turn the sky to fire. “Whatever we want.”

Jisung gasps, dramatically so. “Sky Kim,” He breathes, grasping his friend’s arm. “ _You_ don’t have a plan?” 

“You sound surprised, Hannie.” Seungmin says, glancing at Jisung with a slight smile.

“Well, maybe it’s just because you have always had a very detailed plan of how all our summers would go since we were ten.” Jisung waves a finger in his face, smile widening into a heart. How perfect, that Jisung Han is a boy made of hearts.

“Hm,” Seungmin turns his gaze back to the sun. The sky looks like cotton candy now. “People change. Much like the seasons.”

“Any particular reason why?”

Seungmin spares a quick glance at Jisung out of the corner of his eyes. The heart-shaped boy is admiring the sunrise, his blue hair blown off his face, exposing his beautiful, honey eyes. 

“Maybe one.” He murmurs.

“Do I get to know?”

“Not yet.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Ice cream is their first idea. Ice cream with Changbin specifically.

Their best friend gets lonely in the summers sometimes, especially since Jisung spends all of his time with Seungmin, and Chris and Felix are constantly attached at the hip. Jisung is nice enough to offer Changbin chances to spend time with him and Seungmin, and Changbin always accepts.

“I prefer seeing you two be platonically gross versus them being _in-love-but-not-admitting it_ gross.” Changbin had explained when he decided to tag along with them. And then he had muttered, “Actually, you two are just as bad as them”, but Seungmin pretends that he didn't hear it. He doesn’t know if Jisung did, but if he had, he didn’t show it.

Seungmin knows Changbin just wishes Chris and Felix would pay attention to him like they do each other, but he doesn’t say anything. It’s better left unsaid for now.

Instead, he pretends to complain to Jisung, but really, it’s his fault in the first place for mentioning it in their group chat. Besides, he does enjoy Changbin’s company, even if he acts like he doesn't. He just hates that Jisung can always see right through it, but Jisung has always known him inside and out. 

“One mint chocolate chip ice cream, one strawberry and pineapple swirl, and a rocky road, please.” Seungmin tells the girl behind the counter, smiling. She blushes and returns it, eyes flitting up and down, before she scoops their ice cream.

Jisung sidles up to Seungmin, nudging him gently with his shoulder. “I think she was checking you out.” He whispers, nodding at the girl. He sounds off.

“You’re seeing things.” Seungmin huffs. 

Jisung hums. Seungmin can feel his friend’s eyes on him, but he keeps his stare pointed at the bucket of pistachio ice cream in front of him instead. He doesn’t like green that much.

Finally, Jisung disappears from his side, allowing him to breathe. The woman behind the counter finishes scooping their ice creams and rings up their orders. Seungmin pays, takes the cups, and nods in thanks before joining his friends outside at the table they picked out.

“Heard back from Jeongin yet?” Jisung asks, jabbing his spoon in Changbin’s direction.

Seungmin watches his friend’s face crumble just slightly, glaring into his food like he’s trying to burn holes into it. Seungmin laughs, thinking nothing of the shift in his friend’s demeanor, propping his chin up on his hand as Changbin shovels a giant bite of ice cream into his mouth. “Yeah, Changbin. Heard back from him?”

“I hate you both.” Changbin mutters.

Jisung laughs, reaching across the table to high five Seungmin.

They eat and chat about anything that comes to mind, conversation flowing with ease. Eventually, Changbin goes off on his own, leaving Seungmin and Jisung to themselves. Seungmin made a mental note to invite him over later when Jisung goes to see his dad.

“We should dye your hair, Seungminnie.” Jisung says as they wander the shopping district, shoulders brushing. The street is busier than usual, kids from schools milling about now that school wasn’t in session. The street musicians are almost completely drowned out by the sound of chatter. Seungmin hopes to come back at night with Jisung to see them soon.

Seungmin glances at his friend. Daytime Jisung always looks different from nighttime Jisung, his heavy boots, dark clothes and dark makeup traded for baggy whitewash jeans, a yellow t-shirt and a clean face. An enigma, is what Jisung is to some, but to Seungmin, he’s just Jisung. Beautiful, perfect, iridescent Jisung.

“What color?” Seungmin asks, staring at the brick path under his shoes. 

“Hmm,” Jisung hums. He reaches up, running his fingers through Seungmin’s hair. “Purple.”

“Awfully bold for my first time, don’t you think?” Seungmin chuckles. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle with your virgin scalp.” Jisung giggles, grabbing Seungmin’s head and rocking it back and forth. “Come on, let's go get dye.”

Seungmin lets Jisung drag him towards the drugstore. He watches Jisung push the cart up and down the isles, riding on the basket underneath with giggles following him. Seungmin just smiles to himself and grabs whatever Jisung tells him to (toner, gloves, the dye itself, a shower cap, etc, etc). They leave the store with one too many bags; Jisung had gotten side tracked more than once, and Seungmin didn’t know how to say no to him.

“Does the bleach hurt?” Seungmin asks. He’s sitting on the side of the bathtub in an old shirt, holes littering the fabric, reading over the back of the hair bleach box. 

Jisung hums, crunching on a chip. He shrugs, rinses his fingers, and takes the box from Seungmin. “If you leave it for too long, yeah.” He says nonchalantly, opening the box to pull out the bottle. “It’ll burn your scalp.”

Seungmin gawks at Jisung. “How is that _safe?!”_

With a giggle, Jisung just pats Seungmin’s head and tugs on a pair of latex gloves. “We wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t, Minnie.”

“If you’re sure…” Seungmin sighs, watching Jisung mix the bleach in a little purple bowl. His friend is shirtless, the flower tattoo on his right shoulder blade on full display. Seungmin stares at it for a second too long before quickly averting his eyes. “Are you gonna dye your hair too?”

“Not today.” Jisung shakes his head. “Maybe later. Felix has been talking about doing his hair again so I might help him.” 

“Let his best friend help him.” Seungmin chuckles, letting his head fall back between his shoulders.

“I’m sure Chris wouldn’t complain about that.” Jisung jokes. 

Seungmin just hums in response, closing his eyes when Jisung guides his head up and starts to lather the mixture onto his hair. The brush is gentle on his head, the glove on Jisung’s hand crinkling loudly as he spreads the bleach around thoroughly. The smell is harsh on Seungmin’s nose, but he tolerates it. He’s become somewhat accustomed to it, after years of sitting on the bathroom counter while Jisung did his own hair.

“We’ll check it in 30 minutes, and if it needs any more time, we’ll give it another 10 minutes.” Jisung explains, setting everything down and stripped the gloves off. “Some people go for 45 minutes but personally I think there’s too much risk of damaging your hair if you do that.” 

“Well, you’re the expert.” Seungmin nods and scratches his scalp through the shower cap. He stands and stretches his back before reaching around Jisung to steal a chip from his bag. He smiles slyly when he meets Jisung’s eyes in the mirror, and they’re silent for all of five seconds before bursting into giggles at the sight of Seungmin.

“You look so funny.” Jisung says through laughter, reaching up to squish Seungmin’s cheeks before exiting into the bedroom. 

“Oh, I’m so hurt.” Seungmin sighs dramatically, following after his friend and wrapping his arms around his waist to lift him up. 

Jisung squeals and kicks his legs, laughing harder as Seungmin spins him and tosses him gently onto the bed. Jisung bounces twice before falling still, eyes turned to the ceiling, hair fanning around his head. 

Seungmin tilts his head, smirks, and throws himself onto the bed. Jisung screeches, gripping the comforter to keep himself from flying off onto the floor.

“Seungmin!!” He whines, pushing himself onto his elbows and kicking Seungmin lightly. He pouts when Seungmin giggles.

“You’re just so light, Sungie!” Seungmin exclaims. “I couldn’t help myself.”

Jisung grumbles and flops back onto the pillows, arms and legs splayed out like a starfish. “Where do you hide all that muscle?” He huffs. 

Seungmin shrugs and grabs his phone from the nightstand, settling next to Jisung as he sets a timer for 30 minutes. “Far, far below the surface.” 

“Well, tell them to come out,” Jisung says, reaching up to squeeze Seungmin’s arm. His eyes widen, and he sits up to squeeze a little harder. “No seriously, when did you get muscles? Where’s the lanky boy I grew up with?”

“Changbin drags me to the gym sometimes.” Seungmin answers, pulling his shirt sleeve up to let Jisung see his arm better. “I don’t do much, but sometimes I’ll get on the machines if I’m bored.”

“God, he needs a boyfriend.” Jisung snorts. “He spends entirely too much time dragging us around.”

“I don't mind all that much,” Seungmin shrugs. He scoots down a little to lay more comfortably against his pillows. “I like spending time with him.”

Jisung is quiet for a moment, and then gasps. “Do you like him?!”

“ _What_?!” Seungmin squeaks, staring at Jisung in shock. “No, I don’t like Changbin!”

“Well, you like someone.”

Seungmin swallows. “And what gives you that impression?”

Jisung pokes his cheek. Seungmin glances at him, seeing the bright (hopeful?) look in his friend’s eyes. “I’ve known you long enough to know how you get when you have a crush.”

“Well, you should check your eyes.” Seungmin huffs, gently pushing Jisung's hand away from his cheek. “Because I don’t like anyone.” He’s lying through his teeth, but he is _not_ about to be roped into a guessing game of who he might like. He’s too afraid of where that might lead.

If Seungmin didn’t know any better, he'd say Jisung looked sad when he said that, the way his friend deflated and the smile faltered, but he tells himself he’s just imagining things. He looks away, picking at a thread on his pants. The air feels heavy with things left unsaid. 

Jisung sighs and clambers off the bed, dropping in front of the TV to turn on the switch. He grabs two of the controllers and tosses one to Seungmin. “Let’s play Mario Kart. I still have yet to beat you at Rainbow Road.”

And just like that, the mood changes. There’s a challenging glint in Jisung’s eyes, his lips turned up in a smirk as he sits next to Seungmin on the edge of the bed. 

“You’ll never win, Sung.” Seungmin says as he picks Rosalina and Jisung picks the inkling girl. 

Jisung wiggles a little in his spot, shaking out his arms, preparing himself. “Maybe I’ll get lucky this time.” 

They play twelve races and pause to check Seungmin’s hair at the 30 minute mark before letting it sit for another 10. They fit in another four races of Mario Kart before Seungmin rinses his hair and sits patiently as Jisung lathers a gracious amount of purple dye into his hair. After another two races of Mario Kart, they rinse Seungmin’s hair of the dye, and Jisung blow dries his hair so they can see the finished product early.

“Well,” Jisung says, looking at Seungmin’s reflection in the mirror as he plays with his hair. “What do you think?”

Seungmin hums, tilting his head to the right, the left, and then he looks at Jisung. “It’s definitely different.”

“You look hot.” Jisung smiles, ruffling Seungmin’s hair. He pulls away, snatching up Seungmin’s drink and taking a couple sips of it. “I can’t believe I didn’t suggest this sooner.”

“I probably would’ve refused in the past.” Seungmin takes his drink back from Jisung, setting it aside. He’s already had two from the six pack, and he knows his friend can handle his alcohol sometimes, but he figures they should pace themselves. They’ve made a couple of weird decisions with too much alcohol in their systems in the past. 

Jisung chuckles, pointing at Seungmin. “You’re right. You’ve loosened up lately,” He comments. “I’m still trying to figure out why.”

“You’re actually thinking about this?” Seungmin asks in disbelief, following Jisung out onto the balcony attached to his room. 

Jisung pulls himself onto the railing, swinging his legs over the edge. Seungmin follows, waiting for Jisung to make it onto the roof before passing him the carton of bottles. 

It’s not until they’ve settled side by side, the setting sun warming their faces, that Jisung answers. “I’m just curious. You’re changing, bit by bit.” He murmurs, pulling his knees to his chest. “Not that it’s bad, I just…”

Seungmin frowns at him. “What is it, Hannie?” He asks softly, threading his fingers through Jisung’s hair.

Jisung inhales shakily and breathes out a weak laugh. “I just worry you’ll change so much I won’t be able to recognize you anymore.”

Surprise overtakes Seungmin. He had never expected _that,_ of all things. Still, he smiles softly and grabs Jisung’s hand to get his attention. “Don’t worry, Jisung. I’ll still be the same Seungmin I’ve always been.”

Jisung bites his bottom lip, eyes flitting to Seungmin’s hair and then the last two bottles in front of them. Then he smiles and looks back at Seungmin. “Promise?”

This is the Jisung that no one else gets to see. Quiet, honest Jisung, who lets his walls break down for Seungmin to see the insecurity he hides behind confidence. Seungmin’s always treated Jisung’s trust with the utmost care, always makes sure Jisung _knows_ he can put his trust in him. He would rather die before breaking that.

“Promise.” Seungmin murmurs, squeezing his best friend’s hand. The smile Jisung has then is worth everything in the world and more. He’s brighter than the sun. 

Seungmin would do anything to keep that smile on his face.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Chris and Felix won’t leave me alone these days.” Changbin grunts when he enters Seungmin’s room unannounced. Seungmin barely glances up from his phone as Changbin tosses his bag in the corner of the room. 

Seungmin just hums noncommittally, more focused on the new Nasa article he was reading. The room falls silent for a moment before Changbin pops up on the other side of his phone and tugs it out of his grasp, tossing it aside and flopping into Seungmin’s lap. 

“Are you listening to me?” Changbin whines, pouting up at Seungmin. 

“You’re as bad as Jisung, sometimes.” Seungmin huffs, but ruffles his friend’s hair affectionately. “What’s going on with Chris and Felix?” 

Changbin opens his mouth to answer, and then he notices Seungmin’s hair. He shoots up, just narrowly missing Seungmin’s chin and grabs the boy’s head, gently tugging at his hair. “You’re a grape!” 

“I’m- What?!” Seungmin laughs, grabbing Changbin’s wrists and pulling him away from his hair.

“A grape! You’re purple!” Changbin exclaims, pointing at Seungmin with wide eyes.

Seungmin just laughs harder, shaking his head slightly as Changbin marvels at the sight of Seungmin’s freshly dyed hair. He looks like a child looking at their new favorite toy. Seungmin gently grabs his wrists to pull him away from his head, and can only smile fondly at the pout on his face.

“When did it happen?” Changbin asks, making grabby hands at Seungmin’s head. Seungmin releases his wrists.

“A couple days ago, after we got ice cream.” Seungmin answers, closing his eyes as Changbin runs his fingers through his hair, soft gasps leaving his mouth as he does. “Jisung suggested it.”

Changbin giggles, tugging a little at his hair before flopping back on his butt. “Of course you’d dye your hair if he suggested it.”

Seungmin pouts. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Changbin smirks, like he knows something he shouldn’t. Seungmin doesn’t like it. “If I had asked, would you have done it?”

Well-” Seungmin pauses. He has to think that over. “No, probably not.”

“What about Felix?”

Seungmin shakes his head.

“Chris?”

Another shake of his head.

“Hyunjin? Minho?”

“Okay!” Seungmin huffs, throwing his hands up. “I get it!”

Changbin laughs, grabbing Seungmin’s hands and swinging them in the space between them. “It’s not bad, Seungminnie. You’re just in _love.”_

“I am not.” Seungmin mutters, yanking his hands back. He is, very much so, but that’s not Changbin’s business.

Changbin just shrugs and flops back into his lap, arms splayed out. “Anyways, back to my original point, Chris and Felix will _not_ leave me alone.”

Seungmin appreciates that he’s not pushing the subject. “Any idea why?”

“No!” Changbin squeaks. “They’re just everywhere!”

Seungmin narrows his eyes at his friend. He squishes his cheeks, examining his face closely, before he grins. “Are you _really_ complaining though?”

“Wh-What?!” Changbin splutters, but his face turns a dark shade of red. “What are you implying, you little gremlin?!”

Seungmin cackles as Changbin sits up and tugs him down, locking his head against his side so he can ruffle his hair gently. Seungmin shrieks between laughter, trying to squirm out of Changbin’s grip. His friend only releases him once his hair is thoroughly messed up, but he smooths it down as gently as he ruffled it.

The grin on Changbin’s face slowly fades into something more solemn as he fusses with Seungmin’s hair. 

Seungmin sighs, gently grabbing Changbin’s hands. “How are you feeling?”

Changbin is quiet for a long while, eyes trailing around the room. Finally, he shrugs and sits back, his hands in his lap. “Is it possible to like two people at once?”

“Oh,” Seungmin says dumbly, blinking.

“See, it’s stupid, right?” Changbin sighs. “Maybe I should just see where things go with Jeongin.”

“No! No, no, no, that's not what I meant.” Seungmin waves his hands slightly. “You just caught me off guard, is all.” He adds, and then grabs Changbin’s hands again. “I think it is possible. I also think you should talk to them.”

Changbin bites the inside of his cheek, considering Seungmin’s words, and then he nods and pulls his phone out. “Okay, I’ll ask them when they’re available next. Not tonight though. Tonight is for you and me.”

Well, that was easy.

Seungmin sighs, looking at his wall of polaroids, full of monumental moments shared between him and Jisung over the years. Jisung had taken most of them, dates and events scribbled on the bottom. There’s one for almost every birthday, every Christmas, every halloween. There’s one of their highschool graduation, there’s one of their first day in the dorms. There’s some of their friends as well, but the majority of the wall space is taken up by Seungmin and Jisung’s smiling faces. 

Memories, is what Jisung calls them. A way for them to immortalize the best moments of their lives. In the grand scheme of things, they were insignificant, just blinks, seconds, forgotten in time. To Jisung and Seungmin, they were the most important things in the universe, and deserved to be remembered for years to come. 

Seungmin uses them to remember what it felt like to fall in love, Jisung uses them to remember why he’s waking up everyday.

If only confessing to Jisung was easy for himself, as well.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Work is slower than usual today. 

Seungmin knows Jisung has a busy day at the comic book store, something about a Magic: The Gathering game he has to oversee, and Seungmin briefly considers if he should’ve gotten the job with Jisung instead of getting the summer internship at the publishing firm. 

He misses Jisung.

He sets another coffee down on his boss’s desk and quietly closes the office door behind him, since the guy is on a very important business call, and he slips into the break room. Chris sits at the table, tapping idly on the table. He looks bored, and Seungmin doesn't blame him.

“I hate working here.” Seungmin grumbles, sliding into the seat next to his friend and draping himself across the table. “Why did you convince me to join you?”

Chris laughs, leaning forward onto the table and tilting his head to meet Seungmin’s eyes. “If I recall, you were quite enthusiastic about this internship.”

“Because I thought that there might be more to it besides fetching coffee and lunch orders!” Seungmin huffs, pouting up at Chris.

“Well, only a couple more weeks of this.” Chris shrugs, ruffling Seungmin’s purple hair. “I’m still wondering why you didn’t join Jisung.”

“Comic books aren't really my department.” Seungmin shrugs, sitting back and drumming a quiet beat on the table. “I wanted to work at the library but this looks good on future applications.” 

“Yeah, but you would have more fun at a library.” Chris says. “Besides, you would get paid there. Aren’t you saving up for an apartment for you and Jisung?”

“Oh, I’ve got the funds for that already.” Seungmin shakes his head. “When I quit my grandad’s business and got my last paycheck, that took care of the last bit. I just need to figure out a good place with plenty of room for Jisung's music stuff and my art stuff.”

Chris stands and walks over to the coffee machine, picking out two k-cups - one for Seungmin, one for himself. “You gonna do anything with your art?” 

Seungmin hums, staring out the big glass window that overlooks the downtown area. “Mom says I could, but I’m not sure. It’s more of a hobby for me than anything. I think I want to try publishing a book.”

“Well, you’ve got the right connections. Mr. Clark likes you very much.” Chris says, a teasing lilt to his tone. 

Seungmin just huffs a laugh. “Oh, of course. I bring him the perfect coffee every three hours.” He waves his hands in the same way their boss does. “That man must barely get any sleep. How is he even still alive with the amount of caffeine he ingests?”

Chris laughs and brings over two mugs of steaming coffee, setting one in front of Seungmin. “It’s a mystery, alright.”

Seungmin chuckles softly and stares into his coffee, watching the steam rise off of it. He used to have very detailed plans for his future, but he doesn’t know if that’s what he wants anymore. The idea of publishing the novel he’s working on is appealing, the idea of getting art in a gallery certainly makes him smile. He also loves singing in bars with Jisung or by himself. The arts make him happy, content.

However, the idea of spending the next 20+ years in an office cubicle, confined to ties and slacks for the rest of his life does _not_ seem that appealing, and makes him very _unhappy._

His phone rings. He jumps, almost spilling half of his coffee into his lap. Chris raises an eyebrow at him over his mug as he answers the call.

_“Minnie!”_ Jisung’s voice sounds over the line. He’s shouting over a lot of noise in the background. 

“Hey, Sung.” Seungmin hums, tracing his index finger along the rim of his mug. Chris smirks in his peripheral. Seungmin ignores him. “What’s up?”

_“Let’s do something tonight!”_ Jisung answers. There’s a smile in his voice.

“What do you have in mind?” 

A giggle. _“Remember my skinny dipping question?”_

Seungmin feels his face turn hot. “You’re joking, correct?”

_“Okay, okay,”_ Jisung snorts. The background noise fades and Seungmin can hear him better. _“I am joking about skinny dipping. But I just caught wind of a garage band concert happening on the outskirts of town. Some rock band called, uhhh,”_ He pauses and Seungmin can hear the muffled sounds of him yelling something. _“Zombie Sharks.”_

“Zombie Sharks?” Seungmin laughs. Chris looks at him weirdly. “Sounds funny.”

_“Yeah, but there will be food and alcohol.”_ Jisung says nonchalantly. _“What do you think?”_

Seungmin chews his bottom lip. Chris raises an eyebrow at him, and with a sigh, Seungmin slumps back in his seat. “Pick me up, then?”

_“Oh, I’m gonna dress you up, too.”_ Jisung giggles. He sounds excited. _“Okay, you’re amazing. I have to get back to work. Don’t kill your boss,”_ A pause, a shaky inhale. _“Love you. See you tonight.”_

Seungmin’s heart backflips. 

“Love you, too.” He murmurs. “Enjoy your card game.”

The call ends and Seungmin sets his phone on the table, face down. The room is only silent for a couple of seconds before Chris breaks it.

“So, ‘Zombie Sharks’?” He asks, barely concealing confused amusement as he sips his coffee.

“Garage band concert,” Seungmin answers, playing with the little pompompurin charm on his phone. Jisung got it for him on his birthday. “Jisung wanted to go, so,” He shrugs, trying to seem noncommittal, but he can see Chris grinning in his peripheral.

“I see.” Is all his friend says. 

“If you laugh,” Seungmin scowls, but it’s empty words. 

Chris immediately bursts into a cackle, slapping his hand on the table. “You are in _deep,_ my friend.”

Chris is the only one who knows the depths of Seungmin’s feelings, but that's because Seungmin had gotten blackout drunk at one of Minho’s parties that Jisung _didn’t_ attend and Chris just happened to be there, willing to listen to Seungmin sob and vent about Jisung and his then-relationship with someone from his org. Seungmin doesn’t remember a lot of the night, but he does remember waking up to texts from Chris providing support and filling him in on parts he might’ve forgotten. Chris had always been very honest and transparent, never leaving out anything.

“You have no room to speak, Christopher Bang!” Seungmin retorts, pointing an accusing finger at Chris. “You don’t get to say a thing until you figure out whatever the hell is going on with you and Felix _and_ Changbin!”

Chris keeps smiling even when his face turns red. “I’m working through that already. You’re the one who’s been in love with your best friend since you knew you liked boys and haven’t done anything about it.”

“To be fair, Jisung was really exploring a lot at that time!” Seungmin whines, staring at the half finished coffee in front of him. 

“And what’s your excuse now?”

Seungmin sighs. To be honest, he doesn’t have a good one. Still, to be stubborn, he just shrugs. “He doesn’t feel the same.”

Chris laughs. “You’re ridiculous.”

Yeah, maybe he is. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Seungmin fidgets with the silky dress shirt he’s wearing. Jisung helped him look nice yet stay within his comfort zone, and he appreciates his best friend for that. His black jeans are a little tight, but not uncomfortably so. 

Jisung is dressed in a pair of jeans as well, except the thighs have chains attaching the two top and bottom on both legs, exposing the skin underneath, and a crop top shows the glittery mesh top underneath, and as always, a pair of platform boots that bring him to eye level with Seungmin. His makeup is bold and dark, as always. Seungmin tries not to stare, but the glitter on his friend’s lips is very distracting.

“Okay, boys,” His mom says, grabbing Seungmin’s attention. “Drive safely, okay? And no drinking if you’re going to be driving.” She gestures between the two of them, eyebrows raised. 

“Yes mom,” Seungmin says at the same as time as Jisung says, “You have my word, Mrs. Kim!”

Seungmin’s mom smiles and pulls them both into a hug before ushering the boys out the door, sending them off with loving goodbyes.

Jisung proudly dangles the keys to his beat up toyota as they approach the vehicle. “Finally got it back from the shop and it is as good as new!”

“Still looks like an old piece of crap.” Seungmin huffs. tapping one of the wheels with his foot. He smiles when Jisung mockingly copies him under his breath. He knows his friend doesn’t have a good enough comeback, since Seungmin is just repeating what Jisung said a month ago when he took the car to the shop in the first place.

“Don’t listen to him.” Jisung grumbles, patting the hood of the car. “He’s just jealous that I have my own car when he still uses his mom’s beetle convertible.”

“Okay, and which one of us is saving up for an apartment so we don’t have to live in the dorms anymore?” Seungmin retorts. Jisung sticks his tongue out and scurries around to the passenger door when Seungmin reaches for him, giggling all the way.

Jisung opens the middle console when Seungmin settles into his seat, retrieving a CD case from within. He shows it off like it’s a trophy, giving Seungmin a good look at the big, _‘ZOMBIE SHARKS’_ logo stuck haphazardly onto it. “I managed to get my hands on a copy of their EP album. Figured it might be nice to familiarize ourselves with their sound on the way.”

“Good idea.” Seungmin nods, buckling himself and watching Jisung start the car so he can play the CD.

The windows are rolled down to allow the heavy bass and guitar riffs playing from the old radio to be heard all the way down the street. Jisung bounces in his seat, drumming along to the beat as he drives. Seungmin thinks it's good, definitely Jisung's style. He wonders how the live show will be.

“When was the last time we did this?” Jisung asks after a while. Houses fly past the farther they drive out of the city, and eventually the neighborhoods begin to thin out more and more. 

“Hm?” Seungmin glances at his friend and then at the road, shrugging slightly. “It’s been a bit. I think the last one was…” He trails off, racking his memory for their last garage concert. “Christmas break, I think?”

“Oh yeah!” Jisung gasps, slapping the steering wheel. “Crooked Dolls. I have some of their music downloaded on soundcloud.”

“They were good.” Seungmin hums. The _‘Zombie Sharks’_ CD is on its second playthrough, but the songs are starting to grow on him.

The band is still warming up when they finally arrive, checking sound equipment and tuning instruments. A small crowd of people dressed in similar styles to Jisung mill around outside, drinks or snacks in hand. Seungmin catches sight of Minho, and feels a wave of relief at another familiar face. 

“Come on, let’s go say hi.” Jisung says once he’s parked and the windows are rolled up. He glances at Seungmin as he’s unbluckling, and pauses in his actions, pupils wide and lips parted. The setting sun sets his eyes on fire, turning them golden. 

Seungmin raises an eyebrow and slowly unbuckles himself, letting the seat belt slide across his chest on its own. “What? Is there something on my face?”

Jisung startles and quickly shakes his head, looking away as he finally unbuckles himself and grabs his phone, wallet, and the keys. “Nothing- sorry. Let’s go.” He mutters and slides out of the car, leaving a dumbfounded Seungmin to stare after him.

“Well, that was weird.” Seungmin mumbles to himself and gets out as well, following Jisung through the crowd to their friend.

Minho notices them immediately, though Seungmin figures it probably isn’t hard with how Jisung is dressed. He always tends to stand out. Minho smiles and waves them over, only to meet them halfway out of excitement. “Well, hey guys! I didn’t expect to see you here!”

Jisung smiles and throws himself at Minho, hugging him tightly. They’ve always gotten along rather easily, with their same senses of humor and similar interests. Jisung is the reason Seungmin knows Minho because he insisted on introducing them a year and a half ago. Jisung had liked Minho then, but it didn’t last long for reasons still unknown to Seungmin. They joke a lot about the fact that they’ve both had a crush on the same guy, but Jisung always sounds edged and Seungmin does his best to sound especially detached. 

“Heard about it from a co-worker.” Jisung explains as he pulls back just enough to look at Minho, but he still leans into his side. They two of them have always been rather clingy with each other, as well. “Where’s Sam?”

“This is not really Hyunjin’s scene.” Minho shrugs, rubbing Jisung’s back before pulling away to ruffle Seungmin’s hair in greeting. “He’s out with some friends tonight.”

“It’s not really my scene, either.” Seungmin says. Minho just shrugs noncommittally, but there’s a hint of a frown on his face.

“Well, that’s fine. We can have fun just the three of us!” Jisung decides, grabbing both of their hands and pulling them over to the snack table. 

Minho chuckles, shaking his head at Jisung’s enthusiasm. Seungmin thinks it’s funny that he’s here with the boy he’s in love with and the guy they’ve both had very fleeting crushes on. 

Seungmin pulls away from Jisung as his friend converses softly with Minho and gets himself a capri-sun and a bag of chips. He’ll hold off on the alcohol tonight and let Jisung enjoy it instead. 

The band is nearing the end of their soundcheck when Seungmin turns back around, and with a quick glance at his friends, who are still off in their own little world, he slips into the crowd to get a little closer to the band. He’s not an avid rock band enthusiast, but he does enjoy the scene from time to time.

The band announces themselves very enthusiastically, cheers following, and then the bass begins. It’s deafening, vibrating deep in Seungmin’s chest, but he likes it. He smiles as he sips his capris-sun, tapping his foot along to the beat. The frontman dances around, banging his head along with the drummer. They look like they’re having fun. Seungmin wonders what it must feel like to play in a band.

A hand lands on his shoulder after a while. He jumps and looks to his left, seeing a smiling Jisung there. “I was wondering where you wandered off to.” His friend says over the loud music.

“Wanted to get a better look,” Seungmin tells him, gesturing to the band.

Jisung just giggles and grabs his hands, swinging them in the space between them. Seungmin rolls his eyes but smiles, letting go of one of Jisung’s hand to spin him around. Jisung laughs and falls back into Seungmin’s arms, meeting his eyes as he’s dipped back. They break apart a second later and Jisung mostly leads their dancing, intense and energetic just like him. Seungmin matches his energy as best he can, and soon loses himself in the music. 

Minho is dancing with a couple of strangers when Seungmin catches sight of him, and his friend laughs and waves when they lock eyes. Seungmin chuckles, waving as well, but he’s quickly distracted when Jisung swings him around. 

“I’m glad you agreed to come,” Jisung says over the music. They’re slowly drifting towards the back of the crowd. “It would’ve been _so_ boring without you.”

“Please,” Seungmin scoffs. Jisung spins in front of him. “As if I would say no to spending time with you.”

Jisung tuts, a teasing smile on his face. “Aw, just can’t get enough of me?”

Seungmin gulps, trying to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. He feels like he’s edging closer and closer to the edge of the hurricane. Or maybe Jisung is just closing in on him. Either way, the chaos is getting closer, and he’s not sure if he can stop it. Maybe catching up to Jisung so quickly wasn’t the best idea. Or maybe he wants this. He’s not sure.

“Sure,” He chokes out. “Something like that.”

And maybe it's the alcohol that Jisung drank earlier that makes him do it, but he steps closer, pressing their chests together and settling his hand on his waist. The song playing in the background is far from the type of music you slow dance to, but for some reason, it just _fits._

“If it means anything, I can’t get enough of you either,” Jisung whispers as they sway together. His eyes are dark, almost black in the night, the neon lights obstructed by Seungmin. Still, they reflect the stars above.

Seungmin can’t find his words, and they just continue to sway in silence for a while. Jisung looks lost in thought, but he never looks away from Seungmin’s face. Seungmin doesn’t look away either, and maybe he should, but he just can’t. Not when Jisung is looking at him like that. 

Minho finally comes in and intrudes on the moment, a little on the drunk side as he stumbles into Jisung with a giggle. Seungmin takes a big step back as Jisung laughs weakly and holds Minho up.

“Well, aren’t you having fun?” Jisung huffs out. His smile looks forced. 

“Taste the punch,” Minho hiccups. “It’s so good.”

Jisung glances at Seungmin, hesitating, and then Seungmin just gives him a tight-lipped smile and a nod. Jisung deflates just slightly, but turns to Minho and pats his chest. “Alright then, lead the way.”

Seungmin watches them disappear into the crowd, and he can finally breathe. With a quick inhale, he brushes nonexistent dust off his shirt and pushes his way through the dancing bodies, and eventually just lets himself get swept up in the fray, momentarily pushing everything else to the back of his mind.

Seungmin only finds Jisung and Minho again when the concert comes to a close and his friends are stumbling towards the car, laughing at seemingly nothing. 

“Sung,” He calls. His friend whips around and tumbles back against Minho, both of them giggling more. “Keys.” Seungmin requests, smiling fondly at them. Jisung fishes around in his pockets, brandishing his lanyard a second later. He tosses it to Seungmin and crawls into the backseat, flopping onto his stomach.

Seungmin glances at Minho, who’s leaning against the car door. With a sigh, he closes the back door behind Jisung and nudges Minho. “Do you need a ride?”

Minho looks at the car and then the band packing up their stuff before he nods. “Please.”

“Alright. Go ahead and get in.” He nods to the passenger door.

“Can I stay at your place tonight?” Minho mumbles, picking at a hangnail on his finger. He hisses in pain when he pulls it too far. 

“Is everything okay with you and Sam?” Seungmin frowns. Minho just shrugs. “Okay, sure. My mom won’t mind. She adores you, anyways.”

“Thanks, Minnie.” Minho exhales, relieved, and moves around the car to get in.

The drive is silent for about a half hour, the only noise to fill the space is Jisung’s quiet snores and the soft music playing from the radio. Seungmin almost pulls over a couple of times, the more Minho bounces his leg or taps on the door frame. He knows his friend is nervous, but it’s beginning to get distracting.

Minho breaks the quiet as they reach the downtown area. “Hyunjin has been weird lately, that’s all. Nothing’s _wrong,_ per say, I think he’s just…” He trails off. Seungmin glances at him out of the corner of his eye. “We got to talking a couple nights ago and I mentioned the future and like… marriage and stuff and he looked a little startled.”

“I thought he couldn’t wait to settle down and start a life.” Seungmin says, confused. 

“I think there’s a difference between wanting it, and actually considering it as an option.” Minho sighs, tapping his knuckles against the window. “Like, when you’re young, you see all these happy couples portrayed on TV or in the media and you can’t wait to have that with someone. But when it becomes an actual thing, something you can _do_ with someone, it’s like the reality is a lot scarier than you thought - and I don’t mean scary in a bad way, I just mean-”

“Like sitting at the top of a rollercoaster, waiting for the drop, and realizing there’s no backing out at that point.” Seungmin finishes. “It’s exciting, but also nerve wracking.”

“Exactly.” Minho nods. “I mean, Jin and I are coming up on our one year, and it’s been absolute bliss with him. I just… I think I need to remember that this is a partnership, a buddy system.” His voice is softer now. “I just need a night to get my thoughts in order before we talk, is all.”

Seungmin nods. He understands. He looks at Jisung’s sleeping figure in the backseat. Sure, the future can be scary, but he thinks he’ll be okay if it’s Jisung that’s going into it with him.

  
  
  
  


“Okay, here’s a pillow and a blanket for you.” Seungmin says when he jumps off the bottom step of his stairs. 

Minho is struggling to keep a pair of pajamas pants up on his hips, tugging the straps tighter a few times before finally tying them off. “Your waist is not as slim as it looks.” He grumbles, fidgeting with the waistband of the pants. “Or maybe I’m just smaller than I thought.”

“Jisung isn’t coherent enough for me to ask if you can borrow his.” Seungmin chuckles, dropping the pillow and blanket on the couch. His mom was already fast asleep, but he left a note next to her morning pills letting her know that Minho was on the couch so she wasn't startled when she woke up. 

“He has clothes here?” Minho scoffs, flopping onto the couch and snuggling under the blanket. He looks tired.

“He has a lot of things here.” Seungmin answers. “Toothbrush, hairbrush, soap and shampoo.” 

Minho laughs. “He practically lives here.”

“Whatever.”

“Goodnight, Seungmin.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes and waves at his friend before switching the living room lights off and making his way to his bedroom. 

Jisung is laying on the floor when he walks in, dressed in nothing but his boxers. His clothes are thrown in a pile by the bathroom door, like he couldn’t be bothered to put them in the hamper. 

When he hears Seungmin, his eyes light up. “Seungminnie!” He whines, making grabby hands at him.

“Do you want pajamas?” Seungmin asks, sitting next to his friend and letting him nuzzle his knee. 

“Can I wear one of your shirts?” Jisung mumbles, looking up at Seungmin through his lashes. His eyes are still framed in dark makeup, so Seungmin gets up and grabs a makeup wipe from the vanity. Jisung maneuvers himself to lean back against the bed, allowing Seungmin to tilt his head up and gently clean away the makeup. 

When he finishes, he brushes Jisung’s hair back and earns himself a lazy smile from the boy before he stands and gets a shirt from his closet. He tosses it to Jisung, who struggles a little to pull it on before he clambers onto the bed and burrows under the covers. 

Seungmin goes through his nightly routine - toilet, wash face, brush teeth, change into pajamas - and crawls into the bed next to Jisung. Immediately, his friend latches onto his side, nuzzling his cheek against his cheek before relaxing happily. Seungmin smiles, wrapping both his arms around Jisung.

The room is silent for all of five seconds before Jisung breaks it, voice rough. “Hey, Minnie?” Seungmin hums. “What is love to you?”

Seungmin feels his heartbeat pick up, and anxiety washes over him when he realizes that Jisung can definitely hear it. If his friend notices, he says nothing. 

_You,_ Is what Seungmin wants to say. 

“I don’t know,” He murmurs instead. “Warmth?”

“You’re warm.” Jisung whispers. He’s tracing shapes on Seungmin’s chest.

“So are you.” 

Jisung is quiet for a few moments longer, and then, “To me, love is home.”

Seungmin shifts, sliding down until he’s level with Jisung. The space between them is so little, and yet, it’s as if a chasm separates them. Jisung’s eyes are dark pools of chocolate, sweet and sugary. “What is home for you?”

_The stars,_ Seungmin thinks. That’s the only explanation he can think of.

Jisung chews on his bottom lip, searching Seungmin’s face. He looks nervous, especially when his eyes linger on something for a second longer than usual. Seungmin doesn’t want to think about what. 

“That’s a secret.” Jisung murmurs finally. His hand finds Seungmin’s under the covers. “Until you can tell me what reason you have for changing, what home is to me will remain a secret as well.”

“Okay,” Seungmin whispers. His heart is in his throat.

Jisung smiles and brings Seungmin’s hand to his lips, pressing a fleeting kiss to his knuckles before scooting forward and snuggling against his chest. Seungmin exhales and wraps his arms around Jisung.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Apartment hunting is harder than Seungmin thought, and Jisung hasn’t been around to give any input. It’s been a week since Seungmin saw him for more than a couple minutes in passing, and any time he called, it went to voicemail. He’s not sure if Jisung is avoiding him or is just too busy to pick up.

“Do you think Jisung would like a place downtown or farther out?” Seungmin asks Changbin, scrolling through the Zillows options with a scowl.

“Hey, you know him a lot better than I do.” Changbin snorts. Seungmin glances at him over his computer. He’s painting his nails.

With a sigh, Seungmin sets his computer to the side and slides onto the floor next to Changbin, holding his hands out. “Paint mine too.”

Changbin smiles, excitement sparkling in his eyes as he searches through the basket of nail polish. “Where is Jisung, anyways?”

Seungmin frowns. Changbin looks at him, his smile falling and his brows furrowing in concern. “What is it?”

“I think he’s avoiding me.” Seungmin murmurs. He looks at his hands to avoid seeing the confused worry on Changbin’s face. “I haven’t seen him for a week and he’s leaving me on delivered and all my calls go to voicemail.”

“When did you see him last?” Changbin asks as he moves to sit in front of Seungmin, pulling his hand forward to rest it on his knee so he can clean his fingers. “Tell me as much as you’re comfortable telling.”

“Well, we went to see a garage band concert together, Minho was there, they danced a lot, I danced with Jisung a little, he…” He pauses. Changbin raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t push. “We slow danced, believe it or not. He uh… he jokingly asked if I couldn’t get enough of him when I told I wouldn’t have turned him down about the concert, and then he told me he couldn’t get enough of me either.”

Changbin is trying to conceal a smile, and Seungmin just ignores him. With a sharp inhale, he continues. “Then I took them both home and Minho slept on the couch. Jisung had a lot to drink and was… well, you know how he gets when he drinks.” Seungmin huffs. Changbin chuckles and nods as he carefully paints Seungmin’s nails.

“And we snuggled, and he,” Seungmin pauses, brow furrowing. “he asked me what love is to me.”

“Oh,” Changbin looks at him, shocked.

“And I couldn’t just tell him that he is what love is to me.” Seungmin groans, dropping his head in his free hand. “I wish I could just like… box all my feelings up and rip them out of my chest so they’re gone.”

“Why don’t you just do something?” Changbin tilts Seungmin’s head up. “I mean… how do you really know he won’t feel the same?”

“I don’t know how to tell him that I’m changing to keep up with him.” Seungmin murmurs. “I’m always behind. He knows what he wants from life, I don’t. I thought that… maybe if I try to fit into his world more, let the hurricane whisk me away, I might know what _I_ want too.”

“Well, do you?”

Seungmin looks at the paint brush against his nail, focusing on the feeling of it. He definitely knows that he doesn't want an office job, even if it’ll pay the bills. He’s not for the idea of throwing away his happiness just to make money. But what does he do instead? What does he want to do?

“No, not really.” He says, finally. “I don’t know what I want from life.”

Changbin gives him a soft, sympathetic smile. “Then you need to figure that out. That’s how you keep up with Jisung. Not by changing, but by figuring yourself out. He’s going to love you regardless.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Seungmin wakes up to his phone ringing at 2 am.

“Hello?” He grumbles into the phone, pushing his face into the pillow. 

_“Seungmin?”_ Jisung’s voice crackles from the otherside. He’s muffled.

“Hey, what’s up?” Seungmin sits up. He’s suddenly much more awake now. It’s been a week and a half since he saw Jisung last. “Are you okay?”

_“Yeah! Yeah, I’m okay.”_ Jisung reassures. He sounds shy, but there’s an edge to his tone _. “I just missed you.”_

“Sung, it’s,” He pauses, glances at his clock, and huffs a dry laugh. “2 am.”

_“And yet, you answered.”_

Seungmin sticks his tongue in his cheek as he flops back on the pillows, staring up at the projected stars on his ceiling. “Yeah, well, you’ve been ignoring me for a week and a half.”

_“Dad stuff.”_ Jisung whispers. _“You know how he gets.”_

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

The line is silent for a moment. _“Are you up for going out?”_

He’s avoiding the question. Seungmin bites his bottom lip, considers pushing the subject, but decides against it. If Jisung wanted to talk about it, he would.

“Depends on where.” He says instead. He’s already getting out of bed.

_“Remember that lookout spot up in the hills? We used to go on picnics there with your mom when we were little.”_ Jisung’s voice is muffled again, and Seungmin can make out the sound of his window sliding open. Things with his dad must not be good if he has to sneak out like that.

This thing is, Jisung’s dad is _okay._ But that's in the months that don’t include summer. In autumn, he makes pumpkin spice everything, would take Jisung and Seungmin (and sometimes Changbin) trick or treating when they were younger, and cooks huge meals for thanksgiving. In winter, he knits scarves and sweaters and exchanges them for art pieces that Seungmin’s mother finishes, and he makes cookies for their shared christmases. In spring, he tends to his cherry blossom trees and tells stories to the kids at the local library. 

Summer is when things get bad, because the anniversary is one he loathes. His father never quite got over his wife’s passing. As the anniversary of her death draws closer, Mr. Han gets worse, and Jisung is left to deal with the aftermath. Seungmin knows it’s hard for Jisung too, he and his mother were close, and all Seungmin can do is be there for him as the anniversary comes and goes. 

“I do.” Seungmin responds, tugging on a loose fitting t-shirt and some jeans, as well as hiding his hair under an old baseball cap. 

_“Meet me at the bus stop, then.”_ Jisung instructs. _“Bring our boards. We’ll ride there.”_

“See you in a minute.” Seungmin says, and then the call ends.

When Seungmin meets Jisung at the bus stop, his friend immediately falls into his arms, hands clutching the back of his shirt tightly and his face buried in his chest. He inhales deeply, and his body relaxes as if it’s been tensed for years. 

“You smell nice.” Jisung whispers. “You smell like home.”

Seungmin doesn’t answer. He just runs a hand through Jisung’s hair. The only light illuminating their surroundings is the dim streetlight above them, orange light pooling around the sidewalk like a spotlight. Their boards lay still next to them, looking as lonely as they feel.

Seungmin realizes that, at the end of the day, they really only have each other.

“Let’s go.” He whispers, gently pushing Jisung away and grabbing his skateboard. “The stars won’t wait forever.”

The ride is silent aside from the sound of their wheels against concrete and the wind in their ears. They have to hike a ways up the hill and then turn into an overgrown trail, but that’s to be expected since no one comes out here anymore. 

“It hasn’t changed,” Jisung comments, dropping his skateboard in the grass when they reach the clearing.

“Untouched by man’s dirty hand.” Seungmin agrees. He sits and runs his hand over the grass, the blades simultaneously soft and rough against his palm.

Jisung sits next to him, close enough for Seungmin to feel his warmth. It’s comforting, and it's almost enough to lull Seungmin back to sleep, but he fights off his exhaustion for now. He wants to be present in the moment, knowing Jisung needs it.

So he inhales. “Can I tell you a secret?” 

Jisung hums, looking at him curiously. Seungmin swipes his tongue over his lips and swallows, trying to chase away the dryness.

“Sometimes I think you’re one of them.” He murmurs, turning his gaze to the night sky. “One of the stars, sent down here to bless the earth, but instead you chose to stay– to fall.”

Jisung smiles, his hand finding Seungmin’s. He squeezes, running his thumb along his knuckles. “Well, if that were true, I have a pretty good reason to stay.”

Seungmin looks over at him. Jisung smiles, beaming so brightly, as if he really is a star. So much joy is contained inside of Jisung, it’s a wonder he isn’t absolutely bursting at the seams.

“I hope so.” Seungmin whispers. 

Jisung holds his gaze for a second longer, and then his eyes travel down, lingering for a long while, and then he looks at the city below. Inhaling sharply, he asks, “How’s apartment hunting going?”

“Slow,” Seungmin sighs. “Can you come over later to help?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” Jisung hums. 

The stars shine, but not as bright as Jisung. Seungmin watches him for a while, watches his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks as he blinks, watches his chest rise and fall as he breathes, watches the tips of his shoes tap together as he wiggles his legs. He smiles finally, and looks out at the city as well.

“Seungmin?” Jisung breaks the silence with a whisper. Seungmin hums to let him know he’s listening. “I don’t really care about the future.”

“What?” Seungmin blinks in surprise, turning his gaze to his friend.

“I just mean,” Jisung pauses, his face screwed up in thought, and then he breathes a chuckle and meets Seungmin’s eyes. “I just mean, whatever happens, wherever life takes us, I don’t care because I have you to go through it with me.”

_Oh._

Seungmin opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, at a loss for words. This entire time, he thought that Jisung knew what he was going to do, knew where his future was going to go. But it seems like he’s just as lost as Seungmin is.

And maybe that’s okay.

With a smile, and a nod, Seungmin nudges Jisung with his shoulder. “Me too.”

They fall quiet after that, admiring the stars. Jisung lays his head on Seungmin’s shoulder, hand tightening around his. Seconds bleed into minutes, and minutes into hours, and as dawn breaks, Seungmin hears soft snoring coming from Jisung. With a smile, he carefully guides them so they’re laying on the grass as the sun rises to begin a new day.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Two weeks later, Seungmin’s internship finally ends, and his freedom begins. 

Two weeks into July.

But it’s better than late than never, he supposes. Besides, it looks good on future applications, whenever he decides to get a stable job.

To celebrate his freedom, Jisung drags him and their closest friends (Changbin, Chris, Felix, and Minho) to the nearest bar, promising that drinks are on him and that he’ll stay sober so he can drive them home. (They all know it's a lie, Chan decides to stay sober instead.)

“Cheers!” Jisung yells over the background noise. He throws his glass up in the air, his fruity drink sloshing dangerously around the rim. “To Chris and Seungmin’s freedom from their internships!”

Chris laughs and clinks his glass of coke against Jisung’s, everyone following close behind. Seungmin smiles to himself as Jisung plops back into his seat and his hand finds Seungmin’s knee under the table. They share a glance, and their smiles grow. 

“So, what are you gonna do now that you’re not stuck in an office all day?” Minho asks while he slowly stirs his drink. He got the same one as Jisung.

“I think I’m gonna spend some time with Felix and Changbin.” Chris says. The boys on either side of him hide smiles and blushes as they sip their drinks.

Minho laughs at them both. “Right, right. What about you, Seungmin?”

Seungmin looks at him, and then at Jisung, who’s looking at him over his glass, eyebrows raised curiously. Seungmin leans back, toying with his straw. “I’ll be checking apartments with a real estate agent and then Jisung and I will be moving.”

“Ah, it’s actually happening.” Minho sounds surprised. Chris smiles.

Seungmin just nods, averting his gaze to the hand on his knee. Jisung squeezes gently, a simple, grateful gesture. 

“You should come work in the comic store with me.” Jisung suggests. When Seungmin looks at him, there’s a playful smile on his face. “You know, finally.”

Seungmin half laughs, half scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Mm, I’ll take it into consideration.”

Chris meets his eyes, eyebrow raised, and Seungmin just looks away. 

An hour into the celebration, after Jisung’s third drink and Seungmin’s second, Changbin makes a request. Seungmin is just starting to feel the alcohol, but Jisung’s words have been slurring together every now and then. He figures he’ll have to get him water soon.

“I want to hear Jisung and Seungmin sing together again.” Changbin says over the noise of the bar. Seungmin meets his eyes across the table, and his friend gives him an impish grin. “It’s been way too long.”

Jisung gasps, slamming his drink down on the table. It sloshes a little. “We totally should, Minnie!” He squeals, clapping his delicate hands together. When Seungmin looks at him, and his pleading pout… Well, there’s little he can say no to when Jisung gives him that look.

He finds himself on stage minutes later, perched on a stool next to Jisung, who has his guitar on one knee. The mics are adjusted to accommodate their heights, and they listen as one of the bartenders announces their performance. Only a quiet ripple of applause passes through the crowd, but not many people are really paying attention.

The background music starts, and then Jisung’s guitar, and then their voices follow with an acoustic rendition of ‘ _Somewhere Only We Know’_ by Keane. The entire bar falls quiet as Seungmin’s voice fills the speakers, and he tries to block out the feeling of eyes upon eyes on him, only focusing on Jisung’s guitar, Jisung’s smile, and Jisung’s eyes. 

The chorus begins, and Jisung joins, eyes soft as he sings to Seungmin.

_“Oh simple thing, where have you gone,”_

Seungmin sways to the sound of Jisung’s guitar, and his friend’s smile grows.

_“I’m getting old and I need something to rely on,”_

Seungmin hopes he’ll always have Jisung to rely on.

_“So tell me when you’re gonna let me in,”_

Jisung’s eyes are boring holes into Seungmin as he sings, never once looking away.

_“I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.”_

The lyrics hit a little too close to home, in Seungmin’s honest opinion, and he still can’t figure out why Jisung picked it, of all songs. He’s distracted thinking about it as the song comes to an end and they bow and return to their friends, cheers and applause following louder this time. 

Jisung is breathless as he plops into his seat, but he’s smiling too wide, too bright. Changbin is clapping happily, and the rest of their friends have proud smiles on their faces. Seungmin just stares at the half-finished drink still sitting in front of him.

“That was amazing, you two!” Changbin exclaims. “As always, you blow me away.”

Jisung giggles shyly, hiding his face in his hands. Seungmin just gives a half smile. The table falls quiet for a moment, and then Minho nudges Seungmin from where he sits next to him. “Seung, you okay?”

Seungmin’s head shoots up to find everyone’s eyes on him. He glances at Jisung, and then at Chris who raises an eyebrow, and then he gives an embarrassed chuckle. “Yes! Sorry, I just- It’s been a minute since I sang in front of a crowd. Just uh… not used to it.”

“But you had fun?” Jisung asks. His hand finds his knee under the table again. Seungmin swallows the lump in his throat. “Did you like the song?”

“I did, I promise.” Seungmin nods, squeezing Jisung’s forearm reassuringly. “It was a wonderful choice, it fits your voice beautifully.”

Jisung relaxes, but there’s a look in his eyes that Seungmin can’t quite place. The table picks up a conversation after that, leaving Seungmin to his thoughts. Jisung’s hand never leaves his knee, and his skin burns under his friend’s touch, but in the best way possible.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Seungmin still remembers the day he really realized his feelings for Jisung, when they were fifteen. No one knew he liked boys, and no one knew why he looked at Jisung like he hung the stars in the sky. Only he and himself knew. Jisung was exploring a lot those days, testing things out, testing the waters. He had come out shortly after, his bravery in accepting himself helped Seungmin come out as well, just like always.

But he remembers sitting at their picnic spot as the sun set, and Jisung was singing some old song from the radio with his guitar. Seungmin can’t even remember the song anymore, but he remembers the way Jisung had looked, natural black hair ruffled and windswept, cheek scraped and bandaged from a skateboarding accident, and glasses sat low on the bridge of his nose. They were taped together, courtesy of some bully at school that Jisung had the guts to stand up to. Jisung got into a lot of fights back then, always standing up for the kids who couldn’t do it themselves. The fights didn’t happen as much these days, but there were still moments.

He remembers Jisung meeting his eyes, honey in the setting sun, and his lips turning up in a smile, braces on full display. He was the epitome of sophomore nerd, bony elbows and chubby cheeks, but he’s always been perfect to Seungmin. 

His heart had stuttered so badly in his chest, he’s still positive that it fully stopped for a moment. Maybe Seungmin should’ve been a little braver then, should’ve told Jisung how he really felt, but he’s always been a bit of a coward. Jisung has always been the brave one between them anyways. 

In hindsight, he should’ve had more faith in himself then, it probably would’ve saved him a lot of trouble now.

Jisung’s hair is bubblegum pink when he steps into Seungmin’s childhood home. It’s freshly dyed, all the way to his roots, and his teeth are on full display when he spots Seungmin. 

“I’m not used to coming over this early in the day and you being here!” His friend squeals, throwing himself into Seungmin’s arms. “Thank god your internship is over.”

“You come to my house when I’m not here?” Is what Seungmin responds with, confused as he hugs Jisung back. He’s momentarily forgotten why he invited Jisung over in the first place.

“Your mom lets me bake with her.” Jisung replies, waving him off and heading further into the house. Seungmin just laughs to himself and follows Jisung up the stairs to his room. 

“Seung,” Jisung pauses in the doorway. Seungmin comes to a stop behind him, hands held behind his back, as Jisung slowly turns to look at him. “Why is your room full of boxes?”

A smile breaks out on Seungmin’s face. “What, you mean to tell me you’re not packed?” He feigns shock, tutting as he rolls his eyes. “Typical Jisung.”

His friend splutters, confusion deepening, as he jabs a thumb over his shoulder. “Did I miss something?!”

Seungmin pouts thoughtfully, tapping his chin as if he actually had to consider the question, and then he gasps. “Oh! Of course, how silly of me, I can’t believe it completely slipped my mind!”

He pauses, eyes drifting to Jisung, who just gestures vaguely, desperately trying to get him to continue.

“I found us an apartment,” Seungmin finally says, holding his hands behind his back once more, bouncing up on the balls of his feet. “We move in on Monday.”

A beat passes, and so does a million different emotions in Jisung’s eyes. Finally, he settles on shock and joy, and he throws himself at Seungmin with a squeal. “Oh my god!” He laughs as Seungmin stumbles backward against the wall. “I can’t believe it!”

“Well, you better start believing soon.” Seungmin chuckles, running a hand through Jisung’s bubblegum locks. “We need to get your room packed. I already have boxes for you.”

“Always prepared.” Jisung snorts. He leans back, hands braced on Seungmin’s arms, as a smile shines on his face.

Seungmin watches him softly, fondly, as he reaches up to brush Jisung’s hair off his forehead. “You look good in pink.”

“You think so?” Jisung whispers. His eyelashes flutter against his cheeks as Seungmin’s hand trails along the side of his face, his neck, and down to his shoulder.

“Yeah, you should keep this for a while.” Seungmin responds. Jisung opens his eyes, looking at Seungmin through his lashes. Seungmin almost thinks he’s leaning closer, until the front door opens and his mother’s voice pulls the boys apart, cheeks flushed and eyes avoiding each other.

Jisung sighs, looking into Seungmin’s box-filled room, and then he looks at the younger boy. “Come help me pack?”

  
  
  
  
  


Their apartment is close to the school to make commutes easier. It’s a nice and cozy, one bedroom studio loft, with an office and plenty of extra space. The windows are big, letting in copious amounts of sunlight in the afternoons and evenings, and giving them a good view of the stars.

Jisung is, suffice to say, the happiest boy in the world.

It takes them a day and half to move all their stuff in, with the help of Chris and Changbin, and then Seungmin doesn’t see Jisung for the other half as he’s busy setting things up in his music studio with Chris. They really had no use for an office, so Jisung claimed the room for himself, while Seungmin took a corner in the living room for his art stuff. The stars have always been one of Seungmin’s biggest inspirations, next to Jisung. Or maybe the stars inspire Seungmin because of Jisung.

When it’s finally just them, alone, deep into the night with their half-furnished apartment and two trays of takeout, Seungmin speaks.

“The reason I wanted to change is you.” He admits. Jisung’s fork falls still, and Seungmin can feel his eyes on him. “You're always too fast for me, Sung. I just… wanted to be able to keep up.” 

The eye of the hurricane feels so small, especially now, in the suffocating silence that follows his words. When Jisung says nothing, eyebrows furrowed, Seungmin takes that as his cue to continue.

“I’ve never really known what I wanted from life, but you do. You always know what you want, and you always make it known.” He inhales, sets his fork down, and grips the counter. “You were scared of me changing too much you wouldn’t recognize me, but I was scared of not being fast enough to keep up, and you’d be too far ahead that I wouldn’t be able to reach you anymore.”

“Seungmin…” Jisung breathes. He reaches across the table to grab Seungmin’s hand and opens his mouth to say something more, but Seungmin stops him.

“I know what I want now, though,” He meets Jisung’s eyes. “I want whatever future that you’re in. I want to… I want to publish a book, I want to keep singing, I want to paint with my mom, I want to see the stars every night.” He looks out their giant windows, and then he smiles. “I just want to enjoy life.”

“Fuck, Seungmin,” Jisung laughs, squeezing his hand. “That’s all I want, too. I mean, it’d be great to have a hit on soundcloud or to… to open my own comic store someday, but all I really want is to live life to the fullest, _with_ you.”

Seungmin meets his eyes again. Jisung smiles, so beautifully, just like he always does. He’s at a loss for words, honestly, but Jisung beats him to it. He tells him to wait and cover his eyes, and Seungmin, always ready to please Jisung, does as he’s told. There’s shuffling, the sound of a lighter, and then soft music. It’s a song Seungmin doesn’t recognize.

“Okay,” Jisung says after minutes passed. “Open your eyes.”

And so he does, and he’s met with the sight of red candles lit around the apartment, and the overhead lights dimmed. Jisung’s phone is hooked up to the bluetooth speaker. Jisung stands in the middle of the living room in one of Seungmin’s shirts and a pair of boxers, his fluffy froggie socks covering his feet. It’s definitely not a beautiful scene from a movie, and yet, Seungmin's heart stutters.

“Care to dance?” Jisung asks, holding a hand out for Seungmin to take. 

And when has Seungmin ever been to say no to him? So he slides off the barstool, leaving his food behind, and takes Jisung’s hand. His other hand finds its home on his waist as Jisung rests his on his shoulder, and then they’re swaying to the music. It’s slow, soft, a woman’s voice. It’s nice, but Seungmin doesn’t even bother to listen to it, not when Jisung stands in front of him, humming softly in the back of his throat.

“A promise is a promise, Minnie.” Jisung murmurs. He reached up to brush Seungmin’s hair back. “You told me your reason for changing.”

“I did.” Seungmin nods. He didn't think Jisung remembered the promise.

Jisung bites his bottom lip, eyes searching Seungmin’s face as if it held all the answers, and then, “You are what home is to me, which is to say, you are what love is to me.”

Everything stops, and the eye of the hurricane expands for a moment. Seungmin no longer feels like he’s on the precipice of chaos, and now feels as if he’s standing in the middle of a field, watching the star that is Jisung Han touch the earth, and choose to stay. 

Seungmin has always considered Jisung to be the brave one between them, but he thinks that maybe, it’s time he tries being brave for once.

“You’re what love is to me, too.” Seungmin murmurs. They’re no longer dancing, insteading holding each other in the dim light of their new apartment. Seungmin watches the candlelight dance in Jisung’s eyes, listens as the music reaches the bridge, and feels Jisung’s heartbeat drumming against his chest.

“Seungmin,” Jisung croaks. His hand rests on his cheek. “I’m going to kiss you now. Stop me if you don’t want this.”

And Seungmin lets him. He lets Jisung close the distance between them, he lets the hurricane consume him. All he can feel is Jisung, Jisung, Jisung, and all he can think is that he wants to feel him forever, everywhere, until he can no longer tell where he ends and Jisung begins. Until the feeling of Jisung’s soft lips are burned into his memory, Until the feeling of his warm hands on his cheeks is imprinted in his skin.

Except, the kiss is over as quickly as it began, and when Seungmin’s eyes flutter open to meet Jisung’s, he sees his own confusion mirrored in Jisung’s eyes.

“For so long, I was so scared that-” Jisung whispers. “That it was just me. That I had fallen and you hadn’t, that I was drowning and you were safe above water.” His gaze travels down, tears gathering in his eyes as he presses his forehead to Seungmin’s chest.

Seungmin doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t know how to tell Jisung that he's been in love with him since they were fifteen. So he doesn’t. He just tilts Jisung’s head up and kisses him again, just tugs him closer, trying to feel all of him at once. 

Jisung grabs at his shirt, pulls him towards the couch, and they fall onto it a little unceremoniously, but it doesn't matter to them. It doesn’t matter, because they care more about their lips on each other, their hands burning touches into each other’s skin, their marks left behind on each other’s necks and chests. Seungmin thinks it’s like painting, creating a masterpiece that no one else will ever make.

The future may be uncertain, unseen, and always right around the corner, but all Seungmin cares about is Jisung's love, and waking up next to him and falling asleep next to him for all eternity.

  
  
  
  
  


Summer is coming to end, but Jisung still has one last adventure in mind. Seungmin doesn’t find out until the sun has long since set in the sky and his boyfriend is dragging him out of the apartment and to his beat up car in the parking garage.

Jisung gives Seungmin no chance to ask, as he puts on the new _Zombie Sharks_ EP album and pulls out of the garage. Every time Seungmin opens his mouth to ask, Jisung turns the volume up one notch, and eventually Seungmin just shuts up with a pout. Jisung grabs his hand, lifting it to kiss the back of it.

It’s only when they reach the community pool that Seungmin finally puts two and two together. And then he realizes that Jisung fully intends to break in, and he grabs his boyfriend’s arm, eyes wide.

“Jisung!” He hisses, head whipping around, looking for any sign of law enforcement. “We can’t just _trespass_.”

Jisung blinks once, twice, and then he smiles fondly. “That’s the Seungmin I know.” He giggles, leaning forward to kiss Seungmin’s nose. “Now come on, stick in the mud.”

And Seungmin just melts, and has no choice but to follow Jisung. Honestly, he knows he would’ve gone along with this regardless, and he knows Jisung knows it too. 

“You know, most common pet names are usually baby, darling, my love.” Seungmin sighs, dramatically, as he counts off on his fingers. “But stick in the mud is definitely new.”

“When have I ever been anything close to _common?”_ Jisung laughs. The gate to the pool is already open, and Seungmin belatedly realizes that Jisung probably somehow got permission for this. And then he remembers that Hyunjin and Minho are lifeguards at the pool, and that Hyunjin’s dad owns half the city as it is. Of course Jisung had managed to get permission for this.

“But _stick in the mud?”_ Seungmin whines. 

Jisung pulls him close and kisses him softly as his hands find the hem of his shirt. “Arms up.” He instructs, his breath ghosting against Seungmin’s lips. When Seungmin does as he’s told, Jisung pulls his shirt over his head, dropping it to the side. He leans back, running his hands over the expanse of Seungmin’s chest. His fingers leave tingles wherever they pass. “You’re always so pretty.”

Seungmin kisses him again, hands in Jisung’s bubblegum pink hair, and somewhere in the midst of their kissing, their clothes are shed and they find their way into the pool. The lights shining from below illuminate Jisung’s features in a funny way, dappling his skin and dancing to an unheard song. 

“What about ‘my star’?” Jisung murmurs as they float through the water. They’re simply letting the near non-existent current carry them now. Jokingly, he adds, “In lieu of ‘stick in the mud’?” 

“No, you’re the star - my star.” Seungmin shakes his head.

“Then you're the sky.” Jisung says. Seungmin can hear the smile. “You’re my sky, my safe place of rest until I eventually die.”

“I’ll be your sky in the afterlife, too.” Seungmin murmurs. “In this life, in the next, and every life after that. Promise you’ll always be my star?”

They shift so they’re facing each other. Seungmin rests hands on Jisung’s waist under the water as Jisung holds his face. “I promise. For eternity and more.”

As Jisung kisses him, their bodies molding together, leaving no space for water or air between them, Seungmin feels content. At the end of the day, they only have each other, only need each other, and that’s enough for him. As long as it’s Jisung with him. Jisung, and his bubblegum pink hair, his honey eyes, and his ephemeral self.

_Fin._

**Author's Note:**

> i really hope you all enjoyed! I know i loved writing this, as a good stress reliever hehe. 
> 
> i hope to be back with more in the future! 
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/flwrbins) !!


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